Haiishhh

what should i do siarhs ! was like this few day troublinq over relationship , school problem and many other thinqs , just really wish that i can qet over everythinqs in the past . in fact , i also want a stable relationship with someone i truly and madly in love with . Yet now i dun think i really can do all this . i dun wish that my feelinq now was like a spare tyre for the others and was like a crush or others thinqs barhs .. That why i been controllinq myself and i also think that i am beinq selfish by doinq all this thinqs that shouldn't be done . The deep scar in my heart was like somethinqs that couldn't be heal somethinq that i also dun wish to talk , to share . i just want to keep that to myself . i know by saidinq all this thinq im beinq merciless or what barhs . But i think i really need to said this . Im just beinq selfish cause i cannot qet rid of the feelinq i had for my previous boi and i try many quys yet in the end break up due to my unfaithfulness . Yet i am still beinq a honqster . play around . Somehow i think i still in the need of time to heal everythinq that hurt my heart so much . Im in a confused mind . Was like alots of thinqs happen to me when i wasn't even thinkinq about it . Thinqs that i never imaqine also did happen .. JUST wish that everythinq will be alriqht . (: